...sledding...

New Years Eve.

We decided to stay home and celebrate as a family.

Ordered Pizza. Made homemade kettle corn. Ty got all amped up on grape soda (note to self, NEVER buy grape soda again...) Lexie became the master squirter of Easy Cheese. We watched movies late into the night. Of course I fell asleep. Woke up as the clock chimed in the New Year, kissed my husband and went to bed. The perfect night.

New Years Day.

Thanks to the fact that we weren't hung over (YAY!!) we were able to (for once) enjoy the first day of the new year!! (Todd has suggested Moderation as my resolution...)

We hit the IHOP for breakfast. delicious. I LOVE breakfast, especially if someone else is cooking!! Then we slid on over to ShopKo for some sleds, and replacement snowpants for the kids, who just so happen to have outgrown last years models. On home to pack up. We love to go sledding to a place just outside of Idaho City. It has a name. I don't know what it is. It is always full of people. Lots of kids. Laughing, squealing, sliding. It is the best. So we are driving up there, and we hit some rough terrain. Lots and lots of snow!!! I don't want to turn back, if there is this much snow here, there must be a ton up there. I am like a kid in the candy store!!! EXCITED!!

Long story short. We made it to the turnoff. It did take us twice as long. When we got to the turnoff we had doubts. The further we went we realized that there were a few vehicles stuck on the road. We helped them get unstuck, and they returned the favor. We realized that there was no way we would be able to drive to the hillside. So we hiked!!! about a mile!!! in 18 inches of snow!! with a 5 year old!! We got back to the hillside, and found only ONE other family that had the same drive when it comes to sledding as we do! It was AWESOME! We had to carve our own runs, tredge our own paths and basically give ourselves heart attacks!! I have never had a workout so seriously intense at that!!!! I did take a few pics of the drive up and when we finally got unstuck and parked, but I didn't take my camera on the hike back to the hillside. Sorry, but you will just have to take my word for it. Ah-mazing!

Guilt

Guilt has made me update my blog. There I said it. Thanks, Kari, and a random meeting at Confucious Chinese Restaurant to make me feel bad for not updating my blog. I think it just gets to a certain point that so much has happened that a starting point is not clear. I am sure you are all tired of being reminded that Ty had his tonsils out. But alot has happened since then. ALOT. I think that if I were to get into details your head would spin. Mine sure is just thinking about it. In a nutshell, we are all healthy and happy (As of this VERY moment we are all healthy, swine flu did make an extended visit at our house, but it is gone now!). Ty started kindergarten. I am excited for the all-day every-day promise that first grade brings, but am sad that my baby is in school. Crap, who am I kidding. I love it!! He loves it! Lexie is just truckin along in 4th grade. Is lost in long division (much like myself, but at least at the age of 31, I can just use a calculator!) Todd is working away with the county, despite some rediculous changes made my some not so enlightened management. Fortunately he still gets paid. I got a promotion at work, and now am involved in the training of new hires. It is great. I love it. Sometimes it surprises me how not-so-smart people can survive (apparently they also take jobs in management at the county:))
I am sitting at my sisters house updating my blog and catching up. I forgot how much I miss spending time with her. It helps that my kids have started bothering her kids and are not so interested in bothering me.

Goodbye tonsils...

Well, tonsils. this is it. no more golf-balls obstructing my throat. no more inflamed eustacian tubes. You and your co-horts, my adenoids, are outta here. no more strep throat. no more sleep apnea, tossing and turning. no more soggy pillows.

My dr. said that without you, my speech would improve (with the help of the tubes she also put in). i will be able to hear clearly. iwill be happier, less frustrated. i am not going to miss you, tonsils. i am not going to miss the monthly trips to the pediatrician for constant strep throat. i am not going to miss all the medications.

Heres to you, tonsils. You gave it your best. But I, Tyrus, am unstoppable.

...so as I was saying....

...ha! I am still here! I got lazy. I read everyones blogs, just never updated mine. I know, I am so selfish. I hesitate to update today because I really wanted to add pictures and I cannot find the thingy that goes from the laptop to the camera and I am too lazy to go upstairs and do it.
Everything is going well. I mean that my little world is spinning so fast that all things are blending together. It makes a pretty, smeary, rainbow-y color. I kinda like it.
Lexie has become miss sporty spice-ette. Soccer on Tues and Thurs, games on Saturdays, tennis lessons on M-T-W. Now she wants to look into basketball. I think I am going to tell her she is too short. This "kids sports" thing is crazy. AND Todd wants Ty to start football in the fall!! I am going to need a nanny!
Ty loves preschool, has improved his speech tremendously. He goes to the Ear Nose and Throat Dr. on Wednesday. I am sure whatever they say, it is going to cost me an arm and a leg. (Ha! ear nose throat arm and legs!) We JUST paid the balance of what he cost when he was born. 4 1/2 years ago. He was a spendy little bugger. Isn't that the way it works? Pay off a medical bill and another one instantly appears. I should try to carry a little balance, just in case!?!?!
Todd is working. and playing "mommy" when I am at work. He is awesome. He did laundry, cleaned the kids rooms, made them eat vegetables for dinner, the whole nine yards! I was soooooo impressed. He takes Lex to practice and does the whole soccer mom thing. I am amused and impressed at the same time.
Oh! My birthday was last week. 31. Officially "in my 30's". So if I were to do something crazy, the 5 0'clock news would be ".......and the suspect, a woman in her 30's....". ick. I will try to behave. Todd let me choose one of my gifts. jewelry. So I went into my favorite jewelry store, Zales, and had a ring made. Aquamarine. My birthstone. I love it.
My other gift. Todd is doing my closet. I get to design it and he is building all shelves and stuff. I am soo excited. This was his idea. I think there is an ulterior motive. Table saw, maybe? Router? Oh, well. Jewelry and a place to put my shoes. What more could a girl want??

filter

I woke up this morning to the sunlight filtering through the white sheet that was pulled over my head. Even without opening my eyes, it was the brightest and warmest vision. I just lay there, perfectly comfortable, nestled into one of the most heavenly of creations, a memory foam mattress. My head was resting on my down pillow, and I could feel the gentle weight of my down comforter all around me. As I opened my eyes it was an ethereal vision of illuminated whiteness, a freshly pressed (yes, I iron my sheets) 1,000 thread count cocoon of comfort. I didn't want to move. I didn't need to move. So I just lay there. For a long time.
It was a very peaceful thing. As I lay there, I began my usual stream of random thoughts. I thought of something and it reminded me of something else, which reminded me of someone, and that reminded me of a letter that someone had sent to me last week. This letter was from an old friend that I had lost touch with. Lisa has a son named Connor. Connor was just a little younger than Roman. In her letter she was giving me updates on their family, and the accomplishments of little Conner. I lost it. There in my little cocoon, I lost it. My eyes overflowed. Crack. I could almost hear it. My heart. The spackle that once covered the now obvious break crumbled and fell away. Revealed now was a break that has been there for almost 5 years, just as big and wide and deep and devastating as the first day. Time has slowly filled in that crack, little by little, giving me the false impression of healing. And now today, I lay in on a soaked pillow in my little illuminated haven. Now, I don't want to move, I don't need to move, and I don't even think I can move. All of these familliar emotions have found me once again. Have brought me to my knees. Have broken me. I feel broken. And frustrated. This is just a confirmation that my heart will never heal, just be patched by the spackle of time. Vulnerable to the next unsuspecting thought.
Now that the crack has been re-revealed, I notice it more. I focus on it. I see it, I feel it. It is hard to get out of my mind. Hard to overlook. Impossible to ignore. It distracts me. 'What if....', 'Remember when....', 'How would it be......'.
I hate this part. I am sad. I don't feel well. I don't care. I want to stay in bed forever, and watch the sunlit glow through the sheets fade into dark. To toss around in the safety and comfort of my little fort. And experience tomorrow through that same filter.
It is a crazy thing. Every single year, for the past 5 years, I FEEL it. Towards the end of February to the middle of March, I feel it. It is like my soul kicks my bodys ass. I am a wreck. Heartbroken, again. I know it's coming. I know it's gonna hurt. It always surprises me how much it hurts. How the pain doesn't dull. It is just as sharp as it has ever been. With each additional year, it stings a little more. The realization that it has been even longer. and that is all it will ever be, longer. and longer. and longer.
For a while I wished I could deal with this better, get over it. I have come to the conclusion that I will NEVER get over it. As I lay there this morning, I thought that if losing my son did not affect me as much as it does, then having him must not have meant as much as it did.

Idaho Botanical Gardens

Todd's parents invited us to the Idaho Botanical Gardens for their Chrismas lights show. It was breathtaking and the kids loved it. Lexie kept whispering "Magical, just magical!"
The picture is without flash, the bottom is with.

The kids Celebrating with Sacajawea at the end of the up-hill hike

For my dear Husband..........

Tuesday, January 13, 2009 is our 9th wedding anniversary. 9 years of waking up next to the most fantastic man. (OK more than 9 years, but for the sake of maintaining a G rating we will say 9!) 9 years of feeling like the luckiest girl on the planet. 9 years of being led to believe that I was the boss (thanks honey!).

A lot has happened in 9 years. A lot of learning who he is and who I am. A lot of compromising, a lot of redemption a lot of "I am sorry"'s, and a lot of "I told you so"'s. A lot of soul tearing, eye-burning tears and a lot of heart warming cheek splitting smiles. Buying homes, selling homes, building homes, moving to a 3d floor apartment on the hottest weekend on record in 10 years. Having babies, watching them go, watching them grow.
Trying and failing, trying and succeeding.
He is there for me, with me, sometimes holding me up, sometimes keeping me grounded, always there.

1. Where did you meet your husband:
Todd had been working security while he was awaiting his acceptance into the POST academy. One of his assignments was a movie complex. Within the movie complex, some friends of mine were opening a shop. I had been spending a lot of time helping them set up and I kept noticing a HOT security guard. I guess he noticed me, too! We kinda kept coincidentally being at the place at the same time. My heart still does acrobats when I think about the anticipation! I also worked at a restaurant near by and although I had never seen him there before, he seemed to become a regular. MY regular :).

2. How long did you date before you got married?
This is debatable. I am horrible with dates. I know that one of our first dates was to the Western Idaho Fair. That is in August (1998). Todd went through the academy and graduated in December. He was transferred to a different city (about 2 1/2 hours away) and invited me to move with him. We bought a house and moved in the end of December (98). Yada yada yada........We got married January 13th 2000. So a year and a half. Give or take. Playing house for a year. Very committed, inseparable, and also knocked up.

3. How long have you been married?
8 years, 11 months, 26 days and 13 hours...................................

4.What does he do that surprises you?
Todd and I have very different senses of humor. It catches me off guard when he gets goofy. I LOVE it when he gets goofy. It is like taking a bite of a glazed donut (no pun intended) and finding out it has a decadent chocolate filling. It doesn't happen often, but when it does........mmmmmmmm, it is fantastic!!!!

5. What is your favorite feature of his?
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, the way his eyes sparkle. I know, "sparkly eyes", you say? I gotta tell you, it is the most reassuring, comforting thing that I know of. The color of a good, creamy Belgian chocolate, with a hint of mischief.

6.What is his best quality?
Todd is the most genuine person I know. He is fantastically honest, undeniably faithful, forever true to himself, morally indestructible and he has impeccable taste in women!!

7. Does he have a nickname for you?
...........uh...........he always says something under his breath when he is mad at me, I don't think I want to know................

8.What is his favorite food?
Seriously, anything that I make. This man is a saint. I burnt chicken one time (in the early years) and he ate it. When I said I was never going to use that recipe again, he asked "why not?"

9.What is his favorite sport?
Football. He cannot wait until Ty is old enough. I have a feeling that, until then, Soccer will be his favorite when Lexie starts playing in the spring.

10. When and where did you first kiss?
Date number 8 (yes, 8). After dinner, I was dropping him off at the POST academy. I had been elusive and had avoided his advances up to this point. I don't know why. Maybe so I didn't look like a floozy. He finally just asked, "Um, do you think it would be OK if I kissed you?" Who could argue with that!!! From then on, Permission Grated, officer!!!

11. What is your favorite thing to do as a couple?
(FYI, If I tag you and you think it is a good idea to ask your husband this question, don't.)
We LOVE to go to dinner. Just the two of us. Breath. Talk. It doesn't happen very often. My personal fav is when I am making dinner and he starts doing dishes or just making himself busy in the kitchen while we talk. We work extremely well together. Building a deck, setting up the garden, even just doing chores.

12.Do you have any children?
Alexis Breanne, 8; Roman James, would be 6, and Tyrus James 4.

13.Does he have any hidden talents?
underwater basket weaving

14.How old is he?
38

15. who said "I love you first"?
Todd did.

16.What is his favorite music?
1980's rock ballads. no kidding. big hair bands. Metallica, AC/DC......

17. What do you admire most about him?
His ability to put up with me and all my 'antics'!!

18. What is his favorite color?
Black or dark blue

19. Will he read this?
Heck yeah! I am going to show him when he comes home for lunch!!

Happy anniversary, hottie!!! I love you bunches and bunches!!

20. I tag: Stacy, Kari and Kenna

week one, check

I am feeling a bit like a rock star! First week of work.....check!
So here is the rundown. I am in a 6 week training program with 6 other people. It TOTALLY feels like "the office". Lets see, in order to maintain some level of anonymity, I will assign them nicknames (as I often do!! If you don't know the nickname I have assigned you, it is probably a good thing!!!)

There is:
(* denotes that they are in my class)

*honey-she sits next to me. We are ALWAYS partners. overachievers. we clap at the end of presentations. make innapproriate comments. pass notes. PS her nickname changes to bitch when she doesn't have coffee!! She tried to eliminate coffee from her life. I told her I would personally kill her. honey, myself and the St. bernard are ALWAYS the first ones done. we all sit on the same side of the room and are technically "team B". we pass notes. we are the smarties. we are done first, and we have ALOT of fun.

*St.Bernard-funny funny funny. could be my siamese twin, without the whole messy seperation thing. Large guy. (shaped like a peach) follows me around like a puppy dog. a large puppy dog. St. bernard-like. get it??

*Nerves-Nice guy. always has a hesitance to his voice. a little skittish. he is friends with "ken" who sits next to Jessi (her real name) who is my BFF that suggested that I apply. I guess she started this whole thing! (Gotta love 'work' scenarios, huh??)

Ken-like the hot doll. that maybe gets around. alot. funny, but I always use hand sanitizer after his obligatory 'fist bump'. he is a riot!

*Phyllis- our senior citizen of the class. coughs ALOT. says its allergies. pretty sure it has something to do with the Virginia Slim odor!! Phyllis is on our side of the room, but gets passed between team A and B, because there is an odd number in our class.

*the florist- she is dry and pessemistic. reads alot into hypothetical situations. overachiever, but a downer. lots of sweaters and 'comfort' shoes.

*yowza!!- the hot girl in class (ok, OTHER hot girl!) she is like 6feet tall looks like someone just took her out of the packaging and didn't even mess up her hair!! she is quiet and not at all snotty. You gotta love her, but you NEVER want to stand by her, because no matter how good you look, she looks better. lots better. Nerves, the florist and yowza all sit on the other side of the room and are "team A". we usually have to "quiet down so team A can finish their tests.

*the officer- our instructor. he is funny, yet strict. hard to read. HAS a sense of humor, doesn't always use it. I got in trouble the first day. language violation. surprising huh. for the record, Jessi set me up!!

shorty- another instructor (not mine) funny. i love her. i love her. i love her. same sense of humor. did i mention that i love her??

So far, those are the basics. Needless to say, I am having a blast. The actual job is pretty fun, too!
It is alot of federal regulation adherence, learning a new computer system, trying to understand how it all fits together................... like I said, I am loving the challenge!!!

Week 2, here I come!

Hit the ground running.....

So, thank you first off, for checking back a gazillion times in the hopes of a new post only to be disappointed. Your persistence is truly inspirational! There is a reason for all of this "non-blogging". Simply put, I have been crazy busy.
First of all, Todd went to Vegas the first week of December for training. Much like his first Vegas trip (in Nov), the rest of us could barely make it through the week without our most valuable player! No kidney stones this time!! But we did have another bout of strep throat, the dog ran away (and came back) and a grocery store incident (i don't want to talk about it):).
During that week, I also applied (on a whim) for a job at Wells Fargo in their phone bank center. Applied, phone interview, personal interview, background check, BAM!!!! Employed!!! All in the course of 7 days! I am a bit impressed myself! For not actually being so serious about getting a job, I was a little stunned! So, like I said, "on a whim", I hadn't actually told Todd about my venture (he was in Vegas). So when he got home, I had to spill the beans. employed. Excited, nervous, what did I just do??, all of that. Mostly excited because it puts me one step closer to being 'employee of the month'!!(something you don't necessarily get recognized for as a SAHM)
Week 2 of December, I read the Twilight series. Yes all of them. In 4 days.
Don't remember much else about week 2 of December.(PS, saw the movie HATED the movie!!)
Now the rest of December, I crammed all the things that I have been putting off doing into 2 little weeks, so that I could start my job on the 29th. That is why I have been so busy. In preparation for employment.
Christmas was fantastic. The kids fav's:Ty got a video game (V-smile) and Lexie got a DIDJ (hand held educational video game) amongst other things.
My realization was that from now on, we are in the league of "big kid" things. Clothes, games, styles, trends etc.....
No more dollies and tonka trucks. I am sad. I miss the days that a baby doll (that didn't make noise or require batteries or Internet access) satisfied Lexie for hours! Or when a front loader's only source of fuel was a 2 year old boy!
On to the work part.....
Jessi (BFF) got a job at Wells Fargo about a month or so earlier. She loved it. She said "hey you should apply and see what happens. I bet you would be great at it" So I did. And I got it. And now I have a job.
*************************************************************************************
AS A DISCLAIMER*
I am not required by my husband or anyone else to get a job.
I am enjoying the challenge it presents.
We are NOT financially unstable
We are NOT contentious on this point
We are NOT having marital problems
*************************************************************************************
Thank you for your concern. (you know who you are!)But it is a simple situation about personal challenge.


Thank you everyone for all your support and friendship in the past year. I look forward to the next!!!

My resolution: to hit the ground running, go for broke, and have no regrets in the end!

Stress

Yes, the stress fairy did make a stop at my house this week. She sprinkled me with her magic "Stress Dust". Right now I am glimmering testament to that. I know she has been busy. I think she has visited everyone I know. I am not complaining. Kinda. I have been trying to stay busy and keep my mind off of the mountain that is looming before me and threatening to come crashing down on me. I have taken up crocheting. So far I have made 4 dishcloths. Sorry to ruin the surprise, but most of you all are getting dishcloths for Christmas!! I am sure there are more to come. Maybe if this gets really bad, one or two of you will get a scarf, or God forbid, an afgan! I am anticipating a trip to the yarn store later. Any color requests??
Just the typical stressors. Nothing spectacular. Just more than usual. And simultaneous.
Ever play 50 card pick up? Only the rules have changed and you have to pick them up suits, in numerical order. Blindfolded.
Sounds impossible. Probably is, but it is required. This is my problem. Required. Not just 'needs to be done' or 'could use some attention'. REQUIRED. Written on each challenge in indelible ink followed by my name. None of these things have come about because of procrastination. I am not a big procrastinator. Most of these situations are surprises. Surprise!!! The worst kind. So I sit here with my crochetting, not wanting to get the mail, answer the phone or door, or make any contact with the outside world. And yet.....required. By me alone. Makes a girl want to call her mommy. Have a nice bowl of Mac and Cheese. Crawl into bed, and get up once the storm blows over.

this + this = this

So, here I am on a typical moring. Thats me in my bathrobe. (not actually mine. Todds. So??) Not too shabby. Guess I am used to looking at myself that way.

Well, I was given a bottle of 'Bitch' wine.

Tasty.

Look what it does! Dead Sexy, if I do say so myself!!!

Todd totally agrees!!


Thanks, Sherron for the wine. And Happy Birthday to my forever young, (not at all 60!!) little girlfriend, Linny lou! The party was great. The company was fantastic. The vision of so many girls wearing leopard print, overwhelming!!

giraffe bananas, amongst other things

Ty came to me from the kitchen with the BIGGEST grin on his face. I asked him what's up, and he said he was "so very excited". Why? I asked. Because the giraffe bananas make the best bread!! (Duh!!) I realized that the bunch of bananas on the counter have started to ripen and develop brown spots. Giraffe-ish. And he is right, they do make the best bread!! So sweet that my little boy loves my banana bread so much, he monitors the produce!!

Ty asks, "where is Ron Ree?" (Yeah I am sure I looked pretty confused, too)
Who is Ron?
NO, Ron Ree!
What does Ron Ree look like??
Like big piles of underwear!
What??
You asked me to put my Ron Ree (laundry) away! Where is it!!


Ty got his flu shot yesterday. He laid on the table where the nurse and I held him down while he got poked. What does my son yell?? "SON OF A GUN!!!!" over and over!! I was totally laughing!
The nurse gave me a sideways look. After he settled down, he informed me that "son of a gun" was the 'nice' way of saying "son of a bitch". It must have hurt pretty bad!!

stowing the aircraft carrier

So, Ty's fever broke last night and hasn't come back. Over the prior 48 hours it hasn't dropped below 100. I know 100 isn't bad, but spiking to 104.5 for an hour and a half (despite 3 baths and alternating Motrin and Tylenol) is not my favorite. Strep throat. Well, today I am free (unless Lexie comes home with something) so I decided to tidy up a bit. (understatement)
I cleaned the garage. All the things that didn't fit in the garage went into the trailer. (Yikes when Todd discovers THAT scenario!).
To help you understand the challenge, Todd's truck is precisely 6 inches shorter than the depth of our garage. It is not a small garage, the truck is the equivalent of a land bound aircraft carrier. The challenge is this: snapping a chalk line on the floor to use as a guide for stowing those things we find necessary, but haven't actually seen in 10 years. (funny story: last time we cleaned the garage, Todd insisted that we save this box. It was HUGE. Water damage on the bottom, tape that was holding the top shut was no longer sticky. You get the picture. So I popped it open. It contained manuals from the American Red Cross Lifeguard Safety Course from over 20 years ago when Todd first took the class to become a lifeguard at then Wild Waters for a part time summer job when he was 15!!!!!!!!!! Necessity? I think not! Now I clean the garage when he is not home. I know it is the "man's" job, but frankly, I would prefer it done correctly.)
So you have to remove the hitch from the truck and "kiss" the front wall with the bumper. ( I have visions of driving through the kitchen (on the other side of the garage wall) if I accidentally step on the gas, not the brake.) You also have to pull in the side mirrors (on both sides) and the garage totally smells like diesel.
The end result is a beautiful masterpiece crafted from perfectly balanced Rubbermaid totes, color coded for content, and the fine maneuvering skills equivalent to that of a veteran truck driver. The sight of the empty driveway and closed garage door will hopefully cause panic and some sort of heart attack when Todd cannot figure out where the hell his truck is!! To top it off, I drove his patrol car (hypothetically) and parked it (again, hypothetically) in the driveway where his truck was. That was my (alleged) reward for cleaning the garage. :)

*Any statements made in reference to any perceived "illegal" activities are to be viewed in a fictional, non-true, and maybe even ridiculous light. None of the statements contained here-in are meant to endorse or promote illegal activities. :)

my stones

So, the Hubs left for Vegas on Sunday. I am a rockstar of a wife. I can handle this. I packed for him (double checked the weather report for Vegas), put together the paperwork he would need, hell, I even rented him a car. Off he went. Flight went great. Everything at home was smooth. WAS. If you don't want the "TOO MUCH INFORMATION" version, skip down to the stars.

Two weeks ago I went to the Dr. It was burning when I peed. UTI. Antibiotics for 7 days. Done in time for Halloween. Sweet. I will consider that my illness for the year. (I never get sick) I think that the last time I had an antibiotic was maybe 5 years ago.
Saturday. Ouch. Pee pain. WTF? Made a mental note of it. Didn't have to, it was getting worse. Todd off to the airport on Sunday. Called the Dr. Monday morning and he prescribed another round of antibiotics. Still not feeling great. Monday evening, feeling crabbier. I have a board meeting at my house (I cannot skip). I pull through like a champ. Not really. Still hurts. I call Todd (who has an intense vulnerability to my pain). He was TOTALLY yelling at me. Todd never yells. I laughed. Situational humor. So out of character for him to be like that.
Here is my dilemma: after 9 p.m., by myself with the kids, don't want to drive myself to the hospital (Todd has REQUIRED me to go) and certainly don't want to take the kids.
So I call my sister. She picked up my kids and took them to her house where she had made them up a place to sleep and put them to bed. (her hubs was home) She then took me to the hospital (Lukes on Eagle).
I was the only one there, YAY!! Get checked in. I get a "gown" and a blanket. Gotta love the health care fields definition of "gown". Can you imagine a hospital "prom"? A hospital "wedding"? LOL, just a bunch of ass cheeks!!
IV, bad. Morphine, good! Now that I am feeling better, I get options!! So my options are ultra-sound or CT scan. Hmmm? Let me think? Yeah, I am gonna go with the ultrasound.
(Funny side thought: Todd got the old 'snip-snip' 4 years ago. If I could get a copy of my kidney ultrasound (Todd can't tell what the hell he is looking at anyway) and e-mail it to him in Vegas, it would totally be revenge for the yelling:) Damn machine, out of paper!!)
So, they did the ultrasound and then she pulls out this "thing". "And now we are just going to check out your ovaries to make sure it isn't cysts causing the problem"
Uh, if you are using THAT to check out THOSE, you probably have to put it.................
Yeah. That was a little more action than I was planning on, Todd being in Vegas and all.
So there is my sister the whole time, sitting there. We were kinda chatting, until I saw her peeking at the screen. "Dude, quit looking at my vagina!" Funny.
***************************************************************************
***************************************************************************
Back to the doctor.
Kidney Stones.
Nothing you can do for it.
Pain pills ;) and chill.
Call your doctor in the morning.
Yada, yada, yada.

I got home about 2 a.m. My poor sister had to get up early. Sorry, Stacy! I am tired now. Morphine hangover.
I am only glad it wasn't appendicitis!

a one trick pony...

That's what I feel like. Cue alarm. 7:00 a.m. Coffee, baby, Todd to work, Lexie to school, Ty breakfast, cartoons, dishes, laundry, (simultaneously, so like dliasuhnedsry), take the dog out, baby gets up, clean up after Ty (there is always something to clean up after), lunch, news at noon (only for the adult voices), vacuum, wait for Lexie to get home from school, act interested in what so-and-so said to so-and-so at recess and why so-and-so shouldn't have been listening in the first place, help with homework, referee fight(s), desperately think of an adult to call (usually Todd, poor guy), baby goes home, Todd gets home, dinner, TV, fighting (kids, not me), bed.
Repeat.
Again.
and again and again and again...........
You get the picture.
Yeah, I do stuff. Right now I am working on a commissioned piece for the Boise School District. I will be (read: need to be) done tonight at 6. No big. We carved pumpkins. I made Lexie's Halloween costume. If anyone has a baby, I make a quilt. We went to Tamarack for a wedding on Saturday. I go to the cabin infrequently. I occasionally have lunch with friends.
I just feel like I cannot get off this damn merry-go-round!!! Same scenery, sitting on the same Zebra (I always go for the exotic animal on a merry-go-round, horses are so lame!), riding in the same circle, up and down with that crazy monotonous music in my head. Nauseating.
I think I will start switching things up a bit. Ya know, panties on the OUTSIDE!, eyeliner for lip liner, and vice-versa, maybe just folding the towels in half, not thirds!! Whoa, watch out, things could get a little rambunctious around here!!! When did my life get so predictable that the way I fold towels even matters!!!
I am stable, reliable, somewhat predictable. Those are good qualities. People appreciate those qualities. IN A CAR!!!!! I am a nice big Buick! I wanna be a Porsche Cayenne!! Red with "BITCH" on the licence plate. (side note: Porsche is a reliable auto manufacturer also). Sporty with enough space to accommodate a good day of shopping. Alas, today I am that Buick. Heavy, low to the ground, probably safety reflective tape used for the pinstripe detail. An over sized rear view mirror, and the alarm that beeps when you are in reverse.
I guess I could do something different today. The sad thing is, it would be back to merry-go-round tomorrow. The exception to the rule, straight back to the rule. Owning the Buick, test driving the Porsche, and in the end taking the Buick back home.......
Cue alarm, 7a.m., coffee, baby..............
You get the idea.

Massacre of the Gourds

Halloween 2008

Moyer Pumpkin Carving

These are the pumpkins we grew in our gardent this summer. As you can see, they would've appreciated a few more warm days to turn nice and orange. That early snow made me pick them the 10th of November. Lex and Ty thought it was cool that they got green pumpkins!

Lexie is STOKED to be carving pumpkins today. She has waited a long time for this. We planted the pumpkins from seed in the spring and every time we worked in the garden she lamented over how she would carve them. She babied them, talked to them, watered them gently. Now she wants to stab them. Ah, the mind of a girl.

Please note Ty's "shirt". I asked him to change out of his favorite shirt so he wouldn't get dirty. What he chose instead was a knit vest meant to be worn over a white button down shirt, aka church wear. He paired this with denim shorts. Boys. By his attire, it looks as if we stole some pumpkins from Garden City, and carved them behind a truck stop somewhere.

(Please note Ty's ensemble!)

It took almost 5 minutes to get him to put his hand in his pumpkin. When he finally did, he mostly just petted the strands inside. He is such a wussy. :)

"would you make me eat this if I was bad?" Ty

(Hadn't thought of it, but good idea!!)

Lexie was SO into it. Scooping, carving, scooping some more.....

"This would be so hard to throw up, because of all the seeds." Lexie

Not if you are a pumpkin!!!!!

Pumpkin by Lexie Moyer, 2008

Pumpkin by Tyrus Moyer, 2008

Pumpkin by Daddy and Mommy, 2008




Happy Halloween!

chilli cook-off

Calico Creek Homeowners Association Harvest Fest Chilli Cookoff 2008

Todd and Sanders. I don't know what they are doing. I was serving chilli and turned around to see this. I think they were making fun of me. Whatever.

These are the "girls", l-r, Tiffany, myself, Krista and Amy

We each made chilli and let the homeowners vote. Amy's was a SouthBeach Diet chilli, described as 'vegetable-ey'. Kristas was chunky and fantastic with ground beef, mushrooms, and just enough spice. Mine was a white chilli with chicken, white beans in a white sauce with cumin and cayenne. Tiffanys was a canned chilli in a crock pot!! Cheater!! Secret ingredient: can opener.

Drum role, please.....

and the winner is..........

ME!!!

I won with 13 votes, Krista came in second with 11, Tiffany came in third with 9 (cheater), and Amy in last with 8.

(P.S. Not everyone voted. Some had reservations about voting for one red-head and against another. I get it. I would be scared, too.)

We had a good turn out. Very little drama. Ok, so a 3 year old girl got her first haircut with a pair of Tiffanys kitchen shears because she got it tangled up in the velcro vest that accompanied the inflateable velcro wall. Yikes!

I love these events. My kids run through the street with all their friends, my husband keeps an eye on the shenanigans, and I get to hang out with my friends.

Just have to say, I love my neighbors.

my girl

Lexie asked what I was going to be for Halloween and too tired to think of something feasable, I said the first thing that came to mind. "a hooker" (I know, funny that my mind wanders there!)
"EEEWWWW"
"do you even know what a hooker is???" says Todd
"something about a bar and an inappropriate lady" says Lex
LMAO!!! She is undeniably older than her 8 years1

Remember..

The Month of October is Infant and Child Death Remembrance Month.

October 15th is the recognized day of remembrance.

I would encourage you to do something. Maybe light a candle, write a note to a friend or family member who has been touched by an infant or child death, or visit the cemetery with flowers or balloons.
When I was maybe 5 or 6, my sister and I went to my grandparents house for Christmas. I remember sitting by the tree, looking at the gifts. I heard from the other room hushed whispers, and it being so close to Christmas, I couldn't resist the opportunity to maybe find out what surprises were in store. As I crept closer I could tell this was not a jubilant conversation that my grandmother and the other women were having, but instead a somber explanation. As I wasn't very old, I didn't fully understand the content, but I will never forget the tone. Being older, and having consulted my older cousins and Aunt, I now realize that the conversation held in my grandmothers kitchen was about an uncle that I had never known. Sherman. The following is as I understand it, and may not be totally accurate, as this was not a topic openly shared.
Sherman was my Grandparents oldest child. At the time, he was the only child. My grandparents, Merlin and Louise, were flood irrigating their property and Sherman was playing in the pooled water. I imagine him to be an inquisitive 2 year old, playing and splashing around. What happened next breaks my heart. Sherman must have been playing near the power pole and reached for the grounding wire. In an instant that must have lasted forever in his mothers heart, he was electrocuted.
I have never seen a picture of Sherman. I never had a chance to talk to my grandmother about him. He was forever in the most tender part of her heart. The part that broke every time she heard the whisper of his name. I had never seen my grandmother cry until that Christmas. and that was the only time. I was dying to know more, but I just couldn't bear to cause her tears. Now I know that feeling. This time it is my own. As hard as it is, I strive to keep Roman's memory alive. I, too, break at the whisper of Roman's name, but I cannot bear the thought of ignoring his memory.
There are so many people that hold a special little someone in that most tender part of their hearts. It is not openly talked about for many reasons. In some way we all know a mother who has left the hospital empty handed, or a father who watched his child suffer, a sister who only has the memory of a sibling or a brother who no longer has a buddy to play ball with. It is one of the greatest emotional setbacks to lose a child, regardless of age.
I would invite you to do a little something to remember Sherman, Roman, Vincent, Heather, Catherine and all the other little angels that left us too soon.

Remember October 15, 2008

no regrets

I was reading Camilles blog. She is, by the way, amazing. She posted some hilarious stories. I laughed. Some people were intensely critical. It made me think. "If someone would go out their way to voice their disdain over something like THAT, what would people say about me?" (No, I am not sharing:)) It also, for a second, made me think, "I wonder if she regrets doing that?" (by the way, you can read her blog for the whole story, link to the right).
And of course, that made me think about regrets in general. I will say right now that I have none. Not even one. I wouldn't necessarily share all of my skeletons, but I will not deny them. I came to a point in my early twenties. I had been married for a SHORT period of time and found myself filling out divorce papers. The thought kept running through my head that I never should have gotten married to begin with. Potential regret. It took me a loooong time to realize the importance of that failure. It was not a failure of marriage. It was a failure to listen to my heart.
Some of my 'learning experiences' have resulted in phenomenal insight. (Listening to my heart has served me well)
Others have made me realize what is obvious to the common person.
(those, by the way are the MOST embarrassing!)
Like how when a drive through says 'tight corner, no big trucks' it really means 'NOT YOU SHAWNA!!!' This past summer Jessie and I went through the Sonic drive through (on Fairview, west of Eagle road, in case you were wondering) and got stuck. By stuck I mean a Ford F-250 super duty quad cab, long bed wedged into the curbing with contact on the front passenger tire and the driver side rear tire. It wasn't apparent until after we placed our order, that I had stopped squarely in the 'dead zone'. Now with zero momentum, almost impossible to move. It must have taken a good 3 minutes, lots laughter, strong bladders, and some luck, but I did it. WE thought it was hilarious, and as we got up to the window, we realized that the whole staff had been watching our ordeal! The cashier tried to compose herself, as did we, to complete our transaction. So, nonchalantly, I asked if people get stuck in the drive through ofter. No longer able to contain themselves, the entire restaurant goes up in hysterical laughter.She said 'never'. More laughter. I have NEVER laughed so hard. The best part was telling Todd. Now, occasionally he will say, 'sounds like the alignment is off!' (Yeah, like you can HEAR that!!)
No regrets. Just not driving the truck through a drive through again, that's all!
I am happy where I am. I am here because of the mistakes I have made, and if I had it all to do again, knowing those mistakes would put me RIGHT HERE, I would do it without a doubt. Of course there are those 'crap, I should have put my lipstick out of the reach of a 2 year old!' No regrets. It helped me to discover Mr. Clean Magic Eraser! and where would I be without that!
I have learned to not buy a purse that cannot hold puke. Not to mop a tile floor in heels. NOT to say "pubic hair" within earshot of a preschooler right before class. Not to teach a dog to poop on a newspaper when you cannot figure out a way to teach him the difference between one that's been read and one that hasn't. Not to lie about my age. Not say nasty things when I am mad. Not to try to stand on top of a vinyl fence. the list could go on forever. I am laughing right now trying to figure out how much to divulge. Giggle. Still no regrets. lots of laughs. no regrets.