Just when things were going good...

This isn't so much about me. It is about Sherron. She is my aunt, and a person whom I respect very much. Lately I have been spending a lot of time with Sherron. It is her cabin that I went to last week. We picked huckleberries, ate slightly burnt cheese popcorn, watched the sun set on the lake, went in search of cabins that were for sale (so Todd and I could have our own) and talked. I took Max, my dog. He plays with her dogs, Josie and Giles. They are all Cairn Terriers (Toto on Wizard of Oz) and we got them from the same breeder. We joke that they are all related. Josie is 9 and Giles was the runt from her first and only litter. Giles is 8. We had a blast and when I left, as always, made plans to return more often. On Sunday, Sherron called me with the bad news that Giles had died of a heart attack quite suddenly. Now, Giles was a good dog. Tremendously smart. I am sad that he is gone. She is crushed. It is this that touches me. I have never seen Sherron cry. Never. Plenty of acceptable opportunity, but no. Not until now.
They are in the process of renting their house in Meridian and living at the cabin in the mountains. Did I mention that her cabin is nicer than my house? Any way today we were at the house cleaning and painting and getting 35 years worth of accumulation organized and I realized (again) how a loss is a loss, no matter how big or small. She said something interesting to me. "I shouldn't have let myself get so attached to a dog." It struck a nerve with me and I had to sternly correct her. It is those attachments that make it all worth while. It is that attachment that I have with her. As painfull as it is to loose something and what a horrible feeling it brings, it is, as they say "better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all". I would never wish that lesson on anyone. What a crappy thing. To think of something that you have loved the most and almost instantly realize that same thing has caused you so much pain. A lesson in contradictions, that's for sure. Like I said, Just when things were going good.......you realize you stepped in crap. It will ruin your day, and probably your shoes.

Yada, yada, yada.....

So that is how I am describing the last month that I have been absent from my blog. I could go back and recapture all the funny, interesting, aggrivating, blissfull things that have but honestly, who has the time? Just know, school for Lexie got off to a great start despite learning that her elementary school was overcrowded and her class would be held a the school next to hers, with the "big kids". To add to the trauma, she has a man teacher (her words, not mine). Devastating. Whatever. We compensated the bad news by getting highlights, and lipgloss. It is such a girl thing. It worked. I escaped for 30 hours and went up to the cabin. Alone. Came home with purple stained hands ( huckelberries) and a renewed energy, which is just what I needed to clean my house after being gone for 30 hours!!
I am now in baking mode. Homemade lasagne (noodles included), bread, banana bread, sticky buns, cinnamon rolls, pies, cheesecakes, the list goes on and on. Back to school throws me into some sick Martha Stewart cycle that is horrible for my hips!!! Ty starts preschool after labor day. I am not sad. It is a relief to be at a point in your life that you appreciate that your hard work has paid off, even to a very very small degree. Like a few hours twice a week. I think I will try peeing with the door shut. Or making brownies and not sharing all the gooey batter left in the bowl. Maybe I will just sit out on the deck and not have to wonder what that clicking noise is. (Long story, just know it was not a pleasant revelation!!)
Wow, now that I am thinking about it, alot has happend. I will include tidbits where I can. Some of it is just too good to miss. I hesitate posting a huge long post this time because, although I would love to tell you all, I am seeing so many opportunities that need me right now. The garden is beckoning, the dogs playfulness is undeniable, the kids are giggley, and the weather is nice. Who can resist???

epiphanies

there are only a few precious weeks left of summer.
my baby Ty will be in preschool! He will be in good hands:)
my amazing Lexie-Lou will be in 3d grade.
i remember being in 3d grade.
i remember having a crush on a boy.
my baby will have a crush on a boy!!!
i am at an impass in my life.
i hope it is not a midlife crisis. I would hate to die at 60.:0
i am itching for a change and continuity at the same time.
anyone else have this problem?
i realized that i am so excited for the fair.
i am secretly wanting to wear a sweater.
i miss homemade bread and beef stew.
laundry still sucks as much as it did 10 years ago.
i married the best man in the world.
i am spoiled.
i am ok with that.
i spoil him in return.
my garden sucks.
"A" for effort, right?
i already know what my kids will be for halloween.
i still haven't finished Holly's baby quilt.
she had her baby already.
i feel a little better now!

My new "thing"

I am not bored by any means. I bake, quilt, paint, craft etc... but for some reason I felt I drawn to a pattern that was given to me. Here it is. My new "thing". Making bags. This is my favorite so far. The brown fabric is vine-ey looking but is actually little swirly sqirrels. It looks nothing like the pattern. What can I say, I have always had to add my own touch. (That means I don't like to follow directions!) I like it. It was a gift for Sherron. She loves nature-ish stuff. I think I will play with it a bit and see how it does at the McCall craft show.

Todd is going to LOVE having MORE bags in the closet! He has already been reduced to less than a third of a 117 sq ft. closet!!

What?!? A girl needs her bags! (and shoes!)

Let me know what you think! Any suggestions?

Tyrus James Moyer

Cute, huh. This is Ty. This is the reason I shampooed my carpets not once but twice yesterday. The reason we have to make sure none of the words we use even end in "..uck", "..it", etc... The reason we have to remember never to never hide easter eggs in a tailpipe. The reason two rows of my garden won't grow. The reason the word "optional" was invented, as in 'underwear optional', 'bath optional', the reason I get up early (partly to get one step ahead, partly to see him groggily walk down the stars and smile when he wakes up!). The reason fathers hope for sons. The reason sisters hope for brothers. The reasons moms love their babies.

The Slammer

Today we went to the Old Idaho Pen. Ty loved it. I am a little concerned! He was eager to go into every cell. He kept interrupting the tour guide saying "lock it!". Lexie was a bit more reserved. It amazes me how crazy little boys can be. Touching everything, climbing everything, poking anything with a stick, kicking dirt, spitting etc... And how different girls can be. This was definitly an outing geared toward Ty. Maybe next time we will have a tea party;) Poor Lexie. Todd and I really like camping, fishing etc.. Ty has caught on really quickly. Lexie is more of a 4 Star hotel girl. She is a good sport and tags along, though! Check back for our next adventure!

Family

It has definitley been a convoluted 24 hours. Ever feel like you are awake in a dream? You try to step back and get a sense of the true situation, come to find out it is exactly what you first saw. Leaving you maybe more confused at the fact that it wasn't a misinterpretation after all.
What do you do when people change, become who they aren't meant to be. When parents become the children and children parent their own. I am a firm believer that people are in our lives for a reason, to fulfill a purpose. I also believe that often times once the purpose is met people drift apart. Not a bad thing, just happens. And just as often, relationships can become toxic. It is hard to let go of a toxic relationship, especially when it is family. I cannot waste my time and energy on a person who, for whatever reason, finds it neccesary to find fault in me. To blame me for their shortcomings. To hold me accountable for their bad choices. To be jealous of my circumstances and therefore harbor negativity. Whatever happened to calling your mother for advice, and reassurance? Instead I get chastised for being "fortunate". I get reminded of all the bad things I have ever done and not suffered the consequenses. I am scathingly called a bitch because I am honest.
I am not generally a judgemental person. I love my family and they all know that I am invested regardless of their circumstances. I truly believe that family is the apex of life. It is why I am so frustrated to find toxicity within mine. Not that there wasn't conflict. That is a neccesary evil. This goes beyond. I don't think that I can maintain this relationship. I don't think I have said that ever before about a family member.

A little late, but we had a great 4th of July. I will add some pictures when I get it figured out! I helped organize our neighborhood's annual 4th of July party. The weather was perfect! Todd had to work a late shift, so Ty got to go play at Aunt Stacy's. Lexie stayed at the BBQ and joined in the bicycle parade. The fireworks were fun and so much louder than I remember them being! (Am I getting old??)

Just because...

Just because I had nothing else to do today...
Just because I have an incessant amount of free time...
Just because my kids happen to be occupied...
Just because my sister did it...
Just because my BFF did it...
Just because I thought of a funny blog name that made my husband laugh till he peed....
that is why I am posting a blog. Because you need to know more about me!!!
Hope you enjoy it! Please leave me comments, I don't know what I am doing!
Hope you laugh, and love it!